Introvert-Extrovert Excellence

​I’m an introvert and growin’ up, sometimes I wished that I was the outgoing, confident type. The need grew more pronounced in my undergraduate days as I was surrounded with all sorts of confident, bold personalities. I wanted to be more, because I thought that in order to make an impact on the world, I needed a big, outgoin’ personality.
Somewhere along the way too, people told me (not in these exact words) that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, creative enough, crafty enough, intelligent enough. I was compared to just anybody who appeared better and I could not be more overwhelmed with my insufficiency as it were. Was I goin’ to end up a failure? Will I be a never-do-well? These questions that I tortured myself with were suffocating in their own right.
As I grew, I dedicated myself to strippin’ the layers of inadequacy, one by one and embracin’ a new pace of life: to be patient with myself. This journey was slow, messy and I struggled with workin’ on the weaknesses of my temperaments. But then, one day, it was like somethin’ finally clicked into place and I realized I didn’t need to be outgoing, be a social butterfly or the constant centre of attention to excel in my chosen field (although I still think those personality types certainly make it easier at times!)🙈


You see, bein’ quiet is not a weakness. Just like bein’ confident doesn’t mean that you’re always goin’ to be an outgoin’ person who has all the answers all the time.

With this understanding, all I now strive and daily want to be is the kind of person who knows when to speak and when to listen. The kind who turns the other cheek instead of engagin’ in an argument just to prove a point. The kind who no matter what comes her way remains at peace. The kind who has a calm that makes others feel at ease in her presence. The kind of woman who is secure in her looks, talents and callings. The kind of person who doesn’t feel the pressure to always be the centre of attention or seek the approval of the world and all around her. The kind who has a quiet confidence deep within.

If you’re goin’ to excel at all, you have to first believe that you have all it takes, regardless of whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. That at that moment in time, you are enough just as you are, with all that you have and all you think you lack personality-wise.

Written by Oyiwodu

Oyiwodu is writer at Havilah: The Bloomfield. She’s a first child with a happy handful of four belles. She holds degrees in French, International History & Diplomacy. Though not a life-coach or expert on life matters, growing up in a Christian home exposed her to the struggles of young Christians and the pull of the world on their hearts. Through her writings, she desires to inspire her generation and the next to live purpose-intended lives, with the realization that each one is remarkable and lavishly loved by the good good Father.

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