In the following lines, I will attempt to paint some pictures of people in different life stages but all with a clash of identity, contrary to the definition of Identity for a Christian Exceller put up in the previous post.
THE CAMPUS PLAYBOY
All through your childhood, there was a lot of fuss about your good looks. Everyone seemed to adore you; ‘Oh, such a cute boy’, ‘Darlington is fine, he is my friend.’ And so on. So, everything seemed to go your way. As you grew older, you learned and perfected the art of seduction and people-manipulation. You know what they say, Power is addictive and intoxicating. Especially with the female folks, many of whom you realized were particularly gullible. Then, you lost respect for fellow human, you enjoyed the short – lived power of using people and you invested more in keeping up good looks.
Would it be that you push on so far because deep down, you fear that the good looks is all you have – the only reason why anyone would notice you?
THE UNLOVED WIFE
As a little girl, you dreamed of the forever-love. You thought you found it with Ali, so you knotted hands with him and walked down the aisle. But it turns out that although Ali loves you, he loves something more (maybe God, his job, his football club, fast cars or anything else). So your hopes are dashed. The identity you sought as someone’s Number 1…goes down the drain. So, displeasure turns to sadness, to disappointment, to anger and bitterness and finally to resolve. You decide to “marry” something else too. Although you still wear Ali’s ring, you turn to your children, your job or ministry to give your life meaning.
But was your life supposed to be defined by your relationship with Ali in the first place?
THE OVERLOOKED INTROVERT
You have never really been a loud talker, never been among the popular cheerleaders. Your favourite place has always been the back seat in class or close to the library shelves or the street corners with other low – key people who don’t intimidate you. You do not want to strife with the loud cheer-leading group, therefore you give yourself an identity with the shade of ash. You know, not black, not white. Just somewhere in the middle.
When God spurs you to do something outside your comfort zone, you simply back out. You would rather prefer to keep it cool at all times, in the shadows. But, really? Fear of the limelight just might be an identity crisis.
THE BFF CLIQUE MONGER
You are with the “in – people”. The campus – shakers. The company VIPs. The crème de la crème of the society. And guess what? You have the classiest friends – others just like you. You see yourself as one who has a good understanding of things with a clique of best friends who could make everyone else in the pack appear insignificant.
But whenever you are not with your friends, you begin to feel quite lonely and irrelevant. Not as important as you used to feel.
Have your friends become your identity? I’m afraid, you may have an identity crisis.
THE SMART-HOLIC GURU
For you, your relevance is perceived in how high your IQ is, how high your examination result scores are or how well you perform at your job.
THE TALENTED MAGIC FINGERS
Everyone knows that you are a skilled instrumentalist, great at working on appliances, at painting and drawing artworks. But if this talent of yours is taken from you, will anything be left of your self-image?
THE CAREER (WO)MAN
All the energy you invest in career development and pushing to the apex of your professional field is quite commendable. But what if your career changes, can you still walk with your head raised and your shoulders high? Identity crisis.
THE PARENT OF EXCELLING KIDS
Your kids are high fliers and you are naturally proud of them. But will you do a correct assessment to understand that those kids are only under your charge from God and that what you mean to God is much deeper?
THE VERY SPIRITUAL INFLUENCING PERSON
When your ministry and work for God and their fruits become more valuable to you than your faith in what Jesus has done for you – the free gift of salvation…
Are any of these evil in themselves? What constitutes correct identification for a Christian Exceller? The next post concludes with thoughts to answer these all important questions.