“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Heb. 13:4
It is a clear fact that God designed sexual relations for marriage to effect intimacy among couples and to model the depths of Christ’s love for the church, His bride and more so, the heights of glory yet to be experienced by all of us in that union.
But it is also a fact that sexual purity is a major struggle among young people. This is because the youthful age is a period of growth and preparation of body hormones, some of which are responsible for sexual drive. This is also because of the characteristic strength and ‘hyper’ activity attributed to that stage of life. A third reason why young people face troubles with staying pure sexually is because everyone around in the world seems to be crazy and careless about sex. Or, in the words of a sorrowful and confused Christian guy, “…the whole atmosphere is sexually charged!”
Yet it is in this same world; where purity is unpopular, where illicit sex and profane words are the order of the day, where pornography is cheap and corrupt movies are a click away on the devices in your pocket, where half – naked ladies and gents parade the streets and campuses, where secret affairs are even obtainable in Christian groups that God calls us to be chaste (pure) and consecrated to Him. I often say this with a deep sense of awe, humility and trembling; Christianity is a higher calling!
What does Sexual Purity Entail?
- Keeping oneself from having sex as an unmarried person. (Fornication)
- Keeping oneself from having sex with a partner who is not your husband/wife. Notice the terms husband/wife, not fiancé / fiancée. (Adultery)
- Shutting out impure, unwholesome thoughts (Prov. 4:23)
- Avoiding provocative, lascivious movies, books and pictures.
- Restraining from using one’s own body as a means to derive pleasure (Masturbation)
- Tuning off careless jesting and profane conversations.
- Dressing modestly and not in a way that reveals sensitive body parts.
This, no doubt is a higher calling. When we were raised up with Christ to heavenly places far above principalities and powers as we became born again, it was an all time, all high rising. (Eph. 2:6, Eph. 1:21) We must live in the reality of our new status – aspire and practice excellence in sexual purity.
Tips for Staying Sexually Pure
- Resolve to stay pure. There is power in resolutions coupled with divine grace, remember the Hebrew boys in Babylon. (Dan. 1:8) Regardless of what mistakes and experiences you have had in the past, ask Jesus for a new beginning today and stick with it. If you are one that keeps diaries, think of marking this date with something like this, “I resolve to consecrate and keep my body pure for the Lord from this day onward. No turning back. So help me God.”
- Soak yourself in the word of God. Daily study of God’s word has the essential vitamins and antibodies to fight and overcome sexual temptations. (Ps. 119: 9, 11)
- Pray in the spirit always. Pray in tongues and in understanding. This edifies you and attacks the enemy of your soul!
- Flee sexual advances. Flee from every appearance of evil. The fight for sexual purity is an active one. Be on the offensive always, guard your heart. Guard against careless jokes and jesting. Be ready to walk away. Be ready to turn off your phone. Be ready to say no. And don’t just be ready, actually do these things.
- Keep clear boundaries. Define all your relationships. Being indulgent to others does not make you nice. Uphold your standards, this is actually honorable.
- Be wise. The world is evil, Jesus exhorts us to be wise as serpent and harmless as dove. Avoid staying in lonely or dark places with an opposite sex. Avoid excess gifts or unprotected food from others. Notice advances and overtures guard against these. Avoid keeping late nights and hanging out in risk – prone environments.
- Be active in God’s service, career development and humanitarian activities. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Be at the right place at the right time.
Ultimately, always remember and rejoice in God’s deep and unfathomable love for you. God delights and glories in our purity. “The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3: 17. Ask the Lord to reveal His love to you more – its glory, its quickening and its depth. I am not sure that we can know it all on this side of eternity! This is a privilege of our high calling. 🙂
This is written with much love from me to you, dear excellent reader.